Not feeling guilty anymore!

Fifteen months ago, I became a mother.

For fifteen months I have been comparing myself to other moms, as I’m sure many of us do.

I am a working mom, who dedicates about 50 hours a week to her job. It drains me. My husband, works two jobs. It drains him. The bills are paid. And I’m thankful for that.

My son wears luvs diapers. We buy generic wipes. He doesn’t have 5 different sets of holiday pajamas, or 3 different Halloween costumes. He’s never worn Copper Pearl hats, nor does he have a Bentgo lunch box for daycare. Any name brand clothes he does own are hand-me-downs. He has a couple boxes of toys, 95% of which were gifted from others.. who can afford to buy them.

Oh baby boy, how I would love to be that mother that can go on a giant Target haul for you, and buy you all the cute things. How I would love to have Amazon packages show up for you weekly on our doorstep.

But I know you don’t care about those things. You could care less what your nursery looks like. Or if your clothes are washed in “Dreft” or “All” detergent. You have just as much fun running though the yard with mommy, as you would being pushed on your own swing set. You don’t have a “Lovevery” subscription, which apparently sends you only the best high quality learning toys every month. The remote control and the pots and pans in the kitchen seem to be a favorite of yours.

What makes me proud these days.. is your happiness. You are so loved. You are so smart. You sleep so soundly. And you only sleep well when you are home. Which leads me to believe you know you safe, and secure. Your smile is infectious. I love you so much that I scroll though pictures of you on my camera roll before I fall asleep at night.

I hope I’m not making those mothers that can afford those things feel bad. But those mommas that can’t.. you are not alone. You are not the only ones with those thoughts. BUT at the end of the day. Love is the most important thing you can give to your baby. When you feel like you’re not giving them enough. Get on the floor with them. Love them. Kiss them. Those are the things they will remember the most.