Am i being unfair with mil??

Question

This Halloween I went over the plans with my partner weeks before, its my favorite holiday and I was very exited to go out for the first time with my one year old and show him all the awesome decorations. 
 The day before Halloween my partner let me know that we were going to Mils at 5:00 (exactly when trick or treating starts) for diner with her and 4 others. It takes and hour to get there and we’d be missing everything going on in our neighborhood. 
Her house also isn’t baby friendly at all and every time we go I’m just stopping my son from breaking everything, he hates it there and is restricted from everything. 
Now its a big deal and I’m being called controlling for not going, and she’s claiming I’m keeping the baby away from her. I even invited her over but she chose to make other plans and expects us to follow along!!!
Im at a loss on how to react to stuff like this, it’s my partners fault for not clearing it with me first but she’s blowing it out of proportion.

Answer

If you’ve already made plans your not obligated to change them for a last minute invitation. You offered a compromise by her coming to you. I think she’s in the wrong here for calling you controlling and hopefully your SO has learned his lesson to check invitations with you first, especially on days like this where you are likely to have plans already.

Answer

All of the above comment s!!! 👍🏼

Answer

You're not wrong here! I'd want to stay home and trick or treat rather than a dinner. I don't think your baby would disagree with you either! Lol

Answer

As everyone else said, stick with your plans and tell them to get over it!

Answer

She can get over herself 🙄

Answer

Ya I’d stick to ur plan since u had already discussed it with your husband...did he forget about the conversation u had about it? It’s not like u cancelled on your MiL so I wouldn’t stress over it.

Answer

Not unfair at all. And I would strongly suggest you talk to your SO about this because 
A) he should have checked with you before agreeing to go (especially if you already told him the plans)
B) he should check his mother and tell her it was his fault for agreeing and she shouldn’t attack you
I have a very bossy MIL and a husband who has a very hard time standing up to his mother. I let it go for way too long but finally did put my foot down. It hurts my feelings that he won’t overtly defend me but since he refuses to put her in her place, the compromise is that we don’t see her often and she has to come to us. He’s probably right that she won’t change, but it would be nice for him to say “leave my wife alone.” Figure out what works for you, but you need to talk to him and come up with an agreement you’re both ok with moving forward.

Answer

Sounds like my MIL. She expects us to drop everything and be there when SHE wants us. But we invite her over or invite her to do anything and she never shows up. You already had plans.. its Halloween at 5pm, why would you go for supper with them! Thats trick or treating time. Shes definitley wrong

Answer

You’re not In the wrong & I agree with all the other comments

Answer

Maybe invite her over for dinner on a different day?

Am i being unfair with mil??

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