I need some other ladies to weigh in on this situation and tell me what you would do...

I rented a room out to a girl a year and a half ago. About three months into living here, I realized she is very messy/dirty and kind of a hoarder. I also noticed a lot of dishes and silverware of mine (she had none of her own) starting missing. I peeped into her room one day and found they were piling up.

I never knew what to say to her about this behavior, but it did upset me. For obvious reasons like it can attract bugs and even rodents. But I also felt like if you’re living in someone’s home, you treat it with respect.

But she’s the type of person who if you ask her ANYTHING she will deny it and get VERY defensive and then not speak to you for months at a time. This is what happened when I asked her if she knew where all of my forks were going.

Fast forward to January. We had not been friends for months. She straight up never spoke to me, never made an effort, and would just hide away in her room all day & night when she was home. We both started dating new people around the same time. But we didn’t have a friendship. So when the relationships started to get more serious we had to figure out some logistics for what nights she could have him over and what nights I could have mine over. It was starting to get weird because they would be over at the same time and then no one had any real privacy.

Fast forward to March when the pandemic hit. She lost her job, and so did her boyfriend. They have been unemployed for the last & months now. They both have rich parents so they never have to worry about money. They have treated this pandemic like it’s been an endless vacation.

Throw on top of this the fact that I was moved to work full time from home. So when he would come over, they would be around for days together while I’m trying to work. And when he comes over they take over the house for their dates.

My boyfriend and I worked full time, opposite schedules, on top of a bunch of things that didn’t work between us, so after 9 months of trying to make all of this work, he and I broke up.

She and her boyfriend IMMEDIATELY reached out to my boyfriend to give him support, claiming “you’re both of our friends.” Really? Because you guys never made an effort to be our friends when we were together. But okay. I had no qualms with them reaching out to him. In her own words “you have more support than he does.” Mmkay.

So now for the last month that I’ve been alone, I thought we were warming up to one another, since she said we were friends. I felt like I could talk to her more, or ask her to hang out. I’m home all day and night, seven days a week, with no one to really talk to post-break up. So it was nice to feel like I had her friendship.

Fast forward to Election Day. Her and I made plans to watch the returns together the week prior. The night before her boyfriend was over for one of their usual Monday night dates. I guess at some point she invited him to stay instead of leave like he normally would do after one night & a day together.

She made plans with him to stay and have another date night. Never bothered to tell me. So when my work for the day was done, I was under the impression we were going to start having some cocktails and watching the results. So I come out and she is in the bathroom. I ask him “are you guys ready to start watching?!” And he’s like “fuck no! It’s too early for that shit.” Okay? Not the plans I thought we had made, and no one told me he was going to be joining us. So, utterly confused, I went to my room and just watched from there. A little later when I was letting my dog out, she asked if I wanted her to make me a drink. I said “sure!” Thinking MAYBE she would invite me to join them. Oh, I forgot to mention the kitchen was a complete mess and she had been cooking’s all day, so I couldn’t even get in to make myself dinner.

Upon making my drink, she tells me “we are pretty stressed out, so I think we are just gonna watch Drunk History for a couple of hours.” She never apologized to me, never acknowledged her plans had changed, never told me when they were going to watch, and just proceeded to get drunk.

Around 10:30, about 3 hours later, I let my dog out back again and decide to make some food. They’re just laughing and having a great time like there’s no care in the world. I just smiled and didn’t say anything. She DRUNKENLY asks me (from the other room) “Is something wrong?” I said “oh, uh, I don’t want to talk about it right now. You guys just enjoy your evening.”

She replies “okay??? We will. You too.” And nothing else was said. The next day, after she wakes up late, she’s in the kitchen cleaning it up from the night before. I took a break, Come out and say “hello” she she just looks at me and doesn’t say a word. I just went outside with my dog, and then she comes out and is fussing with a plant of hers, and then tells me she’s going to his place for a day or two.

I have not heard from her since. That was on Wednesday.

The stress of this year has really gotten to me. I am suffering from depression and anxiety right now as a result, so an incident like this has had me pretty upset. I’d like to clear the air with her and talk all of this through, but I honestly don’t know if I should even bother?

Her behaviors since living with me of countless incidents where she has lied to my face, tells me that she is not a genuine friend or person. That she likely talks shit about me behind my back to her boyfriend and mutual friends to make herself feel better and be validated, and she doesn’t respect me or our friendship.

Do I try to make it a friendly environment knowing this about her? Do I ask her? Do I just ignore her? Do I ask her to move out and find someone else?

It all just breaks my heart really, because I don’t see myself as an irrational person, but yet I’m being treated like I’m evil and horrible to be around.

HELP! What would you do???!