Ruined family

I just need to vent ... I feel so alone. I just wanted a family but he chose to listen to his mom and be an absent father a dad that wants a court to tell him when to be one ... all I wanted was a family and now I’m back at my moms in a small room where I have no support... all while I have to keep my tears in and smile on for my baby... I exclusively breastfeed and it’s so hard for me ... I can’t even get him to transition... the reason he says he can’t have him for more than 2 hours ... I wish I knew what to say or so but I think I am the problem