What a piece of c... of a husband I got

I have waited to find that special someone to decades, I was careful in the process or so I thought, he look like a nice and sweet honest man. Boy I was I wrong, I met horrible people in my life but this guy is the worst I ever met, a manipulative piece of .... that will twist you head so far of it hinches it hurts. We had a short engagement due to wanted to start witb all the benefit of married life, sex included. Or so I thought, he treated me worst than a roomate, I was an uninvited guess I his house. No matter how many times I told him that something I said or did hurt me he will do it more, justify himself for doing it and discredit my feeling (the famous your overreacting). Of course he did use those words, he said he didn't understand how I got myself that way for "just -fill the thing that matter to me". He had no accountability, it was someone else's fault. After enduring his abuse for a while I was a bad person because I yelled at him and use my yelling to get out of doing things specially sex. I never met a guy that can come up with so many excuses to avoid sex, regarless of how many times I told him how it made me feel. I beg for sex on my wedding night the 3 Honeymoons and any birthday aniversary, holiday or long weekend, basically anytime. One time he pouted and said do we have to. And you heard right he ruin 3 Honeymoons, basically I wanted to be with him and he wanted to enjoy the facilities or food or excursion. I live far from my family and I let him isolate me from friends, I feel embarras of what I become I consider myself some what inteligent and I didn't see this coming. I have never thought I will ruin my life this way. He manipulated me with sex all the time, he will made me believe that I will have sex if I did or didn't do something. For example if he wanted to be home early he will tell me that if we get home early we have time and can have sex. So I will cancel my activities and go home, he will have dinner, cook for him for he next day, watch TV, take a shower (joint shower), then prep to bed and sleep, when I complain he will just use one of his many excuses. One time he said that I will hold him accountable if he had an accident and couldn't have sex anymore, he also said we will have less sex as he got older, well any less and I may as well turn to celibacy. He will even do things on purpose to turn me off some times for days. I had more sex with my toy that with him during the marriage, the only friends I have they do it way more and they have been married for decades and he and husband are about the same age. Yes he use the age excuse too, even though I prove it to be wrong. He alway tried to reconcile by lying to me, we went to counseling, shrink, and more he never did any improvement, he will say why I have to change and not you. I have been the most miserable I have been in my whole life, I cry so many times that I loss count. I feel broken inside, it hurts so much, I needed a hug today, but I I didn't have anyone to turn to and covid made it so much worse. Sorry for the long post and the fact is all over the place, but I need to vent. Thank you.