I don't know what to do anymore!

Trigger warning: this post goes into mental and physical abuse! ⚠️⚠️

Here is some context; I have issues with my father. He is a toxic narcissist who always has to have his way. He has had addiction issues to pills and steroids and was in prison twice when I was ages 7 and 9 for 26 months in total. After he got out of prison he lived with his girlfriend for almost 10 years, and she hated me, she didn't do anything "mean" to me but she ignored me constantly and would make me feel unwelcomed on their home. I told my dad about this multiple times and he always made excuses for her. After about 10 years he finally broke up with her and moved into his own place. He would always put me down for years now (he once said to me "you are becoming the person you are rather than the person I want you to be") and telling me I should change myself. I have naturally light brown hair but I dye it darker and he thinks I should be a blonde (I used to be when I was a kid but it got darker) and I should have french tip nails always (I like holographic and multi chrome because normal french tips are kinda boring to me, not hating on anyone who like them) and he just makes me feel like I'm not good enough. He would be super controlling. I suffer from really bad anxiety and he basically ignores the fact I have it and always always pressures me to things I'm not comfortable with. He wanted me to come live with him which would've meant I would have had to switch high schools. I refused and he kept pushing it, and he wants me tovslend the night at his apartment a lot and I don't want to. His previous girlfriend made me so uncomfortable I felt like I was never allowed to. Things like this he was doing constantly. He has a new girlfriend now that he has been with for a few years and I really like her, she is very nice. A couple years ago they broke up around Christmas and he was going to come spend it with me at my mothers house, and then two days before he bailed and said he was going to her house to make up with her. He chose his girlfriend again over his daughter and I was really sad. I'd forgiven him (again), about 6 months later I started dating my boyfriend and right after that my grandmother died. I was devastated because she raised me when my father was in prison while my mom worked and I was very depressed for over a year. A few months after school started again he decided to take away my key because he was afraid my boyfriend and I were going to go have sex there on our lunch break while he was at work because his apartment was close to the school. I am not like this. I don't do stupid shit like that and my boyfriend would never do that either. It was so random and pissed me off because it just showed what he really thought of me. About a month after that I found a can hard cider or some alcohol in a can outside my house. There are kids in my neighborhood and I didn't want them to find it and drink it thinking it was soda. I took it into my house and left it out and went to work because I was running late. My mom saw it and asked me and I told her about it (if I was going to drink it, I would have hidden it or something) and she understood. My mom trusts me because I've never done anything like that nor would I. My mom mentioned it to my dad and he got mad because apparently he had the same drink at his house and thought I stole it, even though I didn't have a key anymore. (This two years ago) About six months later I was struggling with depression because it was coming up on a year after my grandmother died. I was having a hard in school and my boyfriend broke up with me. I ended up failing a class but I was able to make it up online in a couple weeks. I was 17 and he tried to take my phone from me, he didn't pay for it, he didn't buy it for me, and my mom wasn't even going to take it from me. He lied about not taking it from me, then one night he barged into my house uninvited and tried to take it, I called him out for lying to me and he slapped me across the face so hard I was bleeding. I told him to get out my house and he shoved my mom down, stepped on my dog, and started to choke me and kept saying I needed to respect him. I lost all respect for him that night. I didn't talk to him for six months. Then on my birthday last year, he left a not on my car saying he shouldn't have hit me (nothing about choking me) and how his friends made him realize he shouldn't have done that. I told him why I would talk to him or see him see him sevral times and would just tell me I was wrong. I decided to look past it and "forgive" him, even though I can't. In March of this year days before quarantine he tried to manipulate me again. I didn't want to talk to him for a couple days and then he texed me early in the morning saying how if I didn't talk to him he would come to my house. When I cut him out last time I was so scared he would come to my house and hurt me or my mom. I would think I was hearing steps on my porch and freak out. It was early so I was sleeping. I woke up to him banging on the door demanding

I give him his key back because he thought I stole two bottles of vistril (a prescription allergy medication that you can't get high from) from his place. I have really bad allergies and yske it sometimes. But I did not steal it. His girlfriend once gave me some of her because I ran out and was having an attack and I still had some of it. Not to mention I had my own bottle of it, and if I needed more I could get some from my doctor or I knew I could ask her for some more, which she said if I needed more she would have been fine to give me some. I haven't seen my dad since April, he wants to move to Texas next fall, he was supposed to move this year but didn't jave the money because of the pandemic and then tried to say he was staying for me but thats not true. My 19th birthday is next week and his girlfriend texted me asking me if she could take me to lunch sometime. I said I'd have to think about it because I wouldn't be surprised if I went with her and he showed up. When I cut him out before he said I was being a child for ignoring him. I think I'm being and adult for not putting up with his toxic behavior. I don't know if I go to lunch with his girlfriend because he might shoe up and I don't want to listen to how she thinks I should give him another chance. I know he still uses steroids and the make him really angry and mean. My grandmother also thinks I should give him another chance even though every time I do I get hurt. There is a family reunion in March down in Texas (we live in Montana) where she lives and she wants me to go. I want to see her but I don't want to be stuck with my dad. I don't know what to do about the lunch, the reunion, or him and it just upsets me and I'm tired of being abused by him. Any advice is appreciated ❤❤

Sorry this is sooo long