Help me assess my divorce. Long post sorry

A little back story. We had been dealing with infertility, ivf and miscarriages. We are both perfectly healthy, It just wasn’t happening. It definitely put a wedge in our marriage and things changes. We had been together 10 years and married for 3.5 years.

We had a convo back in July about how our marriage wasn’t a priority anymore and we had to make more of an effort. He had divorce on the table. Well I made the effort and he didn’t. I should also add my husband doesn’t communicate and keeps things bottled in.

October 19/20 he starts acting mad and distant. He said I pissed him off and It makes him feel like things are going to be bad again. He doesn’t think it’s working and wants a divorce. He thinks things will never change. I say let’s take having a baby off of the table completely and get back to us. He said no, he doesn’t think anything will change. Okay so I give him a few days of space.

October 25 we sit down to talk. He still wants a divorce, he’s unhappy and he feels no different. He doesn’t want kids anymore because he feels to old now (33). I offered separation and marriage counseling before jumping to divorce. He said no. So I go on his Apple Watch and see messages from a girl. A vagina, ass and face picture from that day. So I confront him. He said they just started talking a few days ago and she has nothing to do with why he wants a divorce. She is separated from her husband and has 4 kids. I asked to see the entire convo but he said he deleted It. Okay so I leave. I did some I investigating over the next month.

They became Facebook friends on October 11 (lie number 1). She came over October 29th (she just stopped over he says but according to things i found It sounds like she stayed over) Started sending Venmo money November 1 $200 here and there). Booked a trip for them and the kids November 7 $2900 to go away in December. November 13 took her to a $300 dinner. November 15 had her and her kids at my house, one day after I moved out. They had Facebook convos of her saying your ex is an idiot cause you are so great. Him saying yea you don’t know what you have until it’s gone (mind you I did everything for this man, he was treated like a king). Him saying I think I finally found someone that is going to make me do better and have a good teammate. Again, these are convos one month of knowing each other and I’ve found no evidence of them talking prior.

So is this a rebound and he’s just trying to numb the pain? Is It real? I know it clearly looks like i was left for her. It’s just a lot in a short amount of time. Needless to say I have filed for divorce so there is no reconciliation. I’m just curious what others think of this.