How long?

I came across this group and I know it’s supposed to be for people who recently went through this but I guess mine is recent enough that it still hurts every single day.

I was hooking up with my best friend for 2 years. I was head over heels in love with him and I thought he felt the same, but I was wrong. We went on vacation in august of 2018 and had our own room so obviously you can put the pieces together. In the middle of September I realized that my period was late, but my period sometimes was so light I didn’t even notice it because of the birth control I was on. So I decided to take a pregnancy test and that sucker came back glowing positive. I immediately texted him and told him. Obviously he freaked out because we were only 20 and neither one of us had a full time job or were financially stable enough to support a child. So we went to a friends house a couple nights after we found out and we sat down and talked. He told me he was in love with me but there was no way he could work things out with me and make our relationship grow if there was a child involved. That was when he told me that I knew I had to get rid of it and I agreed because I loved him so much. On 10/4/18 I had the pill abortion. My female best friend was unfortunately across the country when this happened and so he knew he had to be my support and he was until she got home and then he stopped talking to me and seeing me for about a month and then told me he no longer had feelings for me and then started dating a girl with a child not even a year later.

So to say the least I am struggling. Not with the loss of him (because he’s a jackass) but the loss of the child that would have been and I don’t know how long it’s supposed to hurt. After over 2 years I thought I would come to terms with my decision but I haven’t and I can’t. I really really can’t . Does anyone have any experience with severe regret? And how do you handle it?