Am I being overdramatic ?

Question

I am pregnant so I might be just overdramatic but my boyfriends mom is really giving me red flags. She is going crazy for my son. Like in a unhealthy way. At my baby shower she made it all about her. She opened my presents when I specifically didn’t want them opened at the baby shower due to it being drive thru but she made it not drive thru by telling his family they can stop by MY parents house. She didn’t buy anything for my son basically but is so interested in what my parents bought for my child. (I’m 18 and not working so my parents are buying the necessities for me) we just bought our first house and she won’t buy anything for our baby besides a bible for him which I’m not religious and she knows it. She has the what to expect app which is weird. I just see red flags. I feel like she wants my bf and I to fail Thats why she’s not helping so she can try to take my son. They have tons and tons of money and I’m not expecting them to help but it would really help. I knew my boyfriend for 3 months before we got pregnant and she didn’t ask if he was scared or anything I was on the boarder of getting an abortion because i still was in high school but she just cried and was so happy she was finally a grandma like her sister. She didn’t even meet me and knew we just got together. It might be the hormones but I really think she’s stepping over boundaries. She babies my boyfriend so much and talks to him in a voice youd talk to a child. I think she’s not ready to let go of her son she wants my son since hers grew up. Like I said I might just be crazy but I’m freaking out over it.

Answer

Opening your babyshower gifts is hella weird. If she's making you uncomfortable,  that's all that matters. Her son should talk to her and work to set boundaries.

Answer

She sounds really weird, I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. She sounds very clingy. I’d talk to her and set some boundaries. Also, you need to decide if you’re staying in a relationship with her son/your partner. You guys are about to have a child, and need to be a united front. If he can’t mature for this baby, it sounds like you need a stronger father figure. If that’s not the case and he’s already mature, and his mom is just babying him, then try talking with him about it. She needs to hack off. You’re pregnant, and can’t make her back-off all by yourself. Look for support! Also talk with your parents about the situation and see what they think. Wishing you the best! + Congrats! Hope the baby is happy and healthy :)

Answer

I’m going to explain something to you it’s possible that he grew up without a father or the absence of one and her son served as her emotional support as a husband would so he’s a mama‘s boy and she’s attached to him and is having a hard time letting go. She gets the emotional support and physical support and love and affection and attention that normally her husband would give from her son. Unfortunately this woman does not know boundaries like you said, and will be intrusive and come over when she wants and expect you to deal with it basically. He needs to say something to her this is his mother. You need to set boundaries or she’s going to make your life hell. She may be narcissistic, she may be suffering from other mental issues. Sometimes we feel other peoples kids are like our own because were feeling a void deep inside us. My self I never had kids, I had two miscarriages but I feel my nieces and nephews are like my own babies. They get spoiled like there’s no tomorrow, I buy so many Christmas gifts for my niece is a nephews that their parents don’t even need to shop. But at the same token I have the common sense not to be intrusive or go over there all the time or anything like that, I see them on holidays and randomly throughout the year, not like someone who you can’t get rid of him wears out there welcome etc. I’ve raised other peoples kids since I was a kid myself as a mother‘s helper as a nanny babysitter etc. I raise my nephew who is blind and autistic on my own until his mother took him because my brother was a deadbeat. But he slept on my chest every single night, he called me mama before he ever called his own deadbeat mother mama. She does the minimal for him and basically he’s a disability check to her. But my brother is a piece of shit and doesn’t want the responsibility of a child so nothing we can do. But back to you. A lot of times we try and parent other peoples kids and give advice and things like that but at the same token they don’t realize that their opinion is making you feel bad about yourself or making you feel like a bad mother or judging you etc. Everyone has their own way of raising their own children. But at the same token, she needs to realize with a lot of conversations unfortunately it’s either gonna come down to you completely blocking her out of your life or her having some massively set standards and boundaries that she can’t do this she can’t do that etc. and it’s gonna have to make you look like the bad guy or him. But honestly it needs to come from him that’s his mother. It’s going to be awkward it’s going to be a rough transition, but unfortunately it needs to be done, you know I’m giving people ultimatums or whatever it may be. Because you’re so young I think she feels that she needs to take control the situation, but at the same token she needs to realize that this is your child and his child not hers. And maybe she’s feeling a void because of that lack of husband or lack a father in the home or maybe he’s just emotionally absent and thinks that paying the bills is enough and he doesn’t have to do anything more, and she’s clung to her son all these years as emotional support and for physical love and attention that a man would give, now that you’ve come into the picture, she sees you as the homewrecker is taking her husband away. Or interfering or trying to ruin her life and making herself the victim. I just want you to see it from both sides of the perspective where she’s coming from possibly and how you may have to deal with her because of this. There’s a movie called monster in law it’s Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda, and it deals with a situation similar to this where she is A single mother Jane Fonda and is attached to her son big time she calls multiple times a day she comes over when she wants to the whole 9 yards. And for Jennifer Lopez‘s character to be the fiancée out of nowhere, she puts her through hell in the movie but in the end she gives her an ultimatum and she cuts the crap. You may wanna give it a watch, and you probably will relate to the whole movie. My mother is very similar as well, my mother try to mother other brothers kids and my brother had to say something to her she was ready to cut them off all together and have nothing to do with him, I said these are your grandkids I had to set her straight for her to not take it to that extreme of white being so butt hurt that she wanted nothing to do with him. My mother is very all or nothing, she is narcissistic she’s controlling she is bitter angry resentful etc. she’s not easy to deal with I will just put it that way so I know where you’re coming from with the whole situation. I wish you luck, you’re gonna need it, you both are because unfortunately it’s either you cut her out of your life for you learn to deal with her crap or you set her straight and hope that everyone can get along peacefully. But it’s going to get ugly I’m just giving you a heads up. Good luck￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼

Am I being overdramatic ?

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