Loving a cold hearted man

He doesn't even care, and makes it obvious as well. I have been a bitch in the past I'll admit. He hadn't been an angel either, I've said bad things, he's hit me loads of times so maybe I deserved it. Either way it's toxic. But letting go is hard when you love someone.

When I say I've been a bitch, it's not bc I'm a bitch in general, it's bc I've been constantly called worthless etc by him so in retaliation I'll stand up for myself. But he doesn't see it like that, but the majority of the time I'm bending over backwards to please him. He has a hot meal as soon as he comes home from work, fresh clean clothes every day. I clean the house and watch the kids, he's never had to get up in the nights with our youngest who's almost 2. He has an easy life with me, he just doesn't realise it. Then he says he's not happy! Well go and find someone else to cater to your every need then, and someone else who will put up with your insults and shit!

The worst thing is that he knows I'll do anything for him and still treats me like he doesn't care. I'm a fucking doormat basically. I even book us surprise little nights away now and then, and there's just nothing his end