Got the wedding posponed because of the pandemic. Been together for 4 years.

Fyi parents will pay for our small wedding.

Disclaimer: we don't live in the US

I have no idea how to handle this issue. Please help me. We both come from upper middle classes in our country, so both of our childhoods have been financially stable. Neither of us have ever dealt with poverty, so I can't understand where he is coming from.

He's always been... cheap. We both work standard/average wage jobs (a little more than minimum wage which is completely fine financially). During our first 2 years we lived with his parents to help cut back on expenses. We finally moved 2 years ago, and have been living on our own without any issues. Always pay bills on time, can afford food, utilities, hobbies and we save a lot of our incomes (at least 20-30%).

I thought his cheapness was normal, until I realized some things. As I said we both work and can afford a decent lifestyle, but he is so stressed about any and every expense. Whenever I ask him to go out he gets a full blown panic attack. It used to be walking instead of driving so we can save on gas, electricity during off-hours etc, which was fine. But now he gets panic attacks when I mention we order take-out or eat out instead of me cooking sometimes (if I've been too busy from work), buy something new for our home (a mirror, a vase, a decorative pillow etc) or the worst of all - a celebration of any sort. For my birthday he was in complete zombie-mode (couldn't eat, couldn't sleep) for days because he was stressing about taking me out to dinner, as if that's gonna ruin our finances and bankrupt us, we ended up staying home because I couldn't deal with the stress he was causing me for a simple dinner (how could I enjoy something that was so horrible for him?).

We do go on dates often, usually walks in the park and a to-go coffee or something similar. Watch movies on Netflix, but the thought of spending money on a movie ticket is too much for him. He has never taken me to a movie theatre despite me stating that I would really like that multiple times.

No he is not cheating, no he is not ashamed of me. Any time he has to spend something extra he is panicking.

He has been tracking finances daily. Creating charts. Planning. And it's honestly stressing me out so much. I can't enjoy anything anymore knowing how much stress it causes him.

As I said, we don't live paycheck-to-paycheck. We both have "trust funds" (little inheritance funds that are common in our country from parents and grandparents, which we both don't plan on spending), savings accounts, dental, medical, car insurrance, a pension fund (all job benefits)etc. We'll even inherit property, so we basically have everything under control. And we have 0 debt. Please do not think that I am bragging about anything.

I'm so jealous of the type of relationship many of you have even when money is tight. I don't know what to do.

As I mentioned hobbies, I do yoga and he plays video games. No problem, except when I need new >10$ leggings because my old pair ripped before their "curfew". Then he starts panicking.

He used to be cheap. Now he is obsessed and I have no idea what to do.

One time I remeber really wanting something (like a weekend holiday) and it was well within our monthly expense plan as we saved on something else that month. He nearly got a heart attack when he started financing.

He doesn't have a gambling habbit or drugs or anything. I can oversee his bank account (he can mine too) and it's always going up, no sudden expences that might explain his behaviour.

Thank you so much for reading. If you have any idea/advice please comment.