I’ve been with my husband forever, many many years. Since we were kids in high school. The past few months, maybe more - we’ve both been stressed way more than ever before. Family death, money issues, stressful careers, I’m pregnant and extended family problems.

We’ve always been good communication wise - except for a bit back in high school with typical teenage hormones and dramatics. We were like an old Taylor Swift song back then with fighting in the rain lol. But as we entered adulthood we really grew and flourished. We don’t argue often, always have a good time and trust each other with our lives.

But the past few months, we have somehow slipped back into our teenage ways when arguing. Too much working at stressful jobs and lack of sleep. We’re taking all the stress out on each other. We don’t argue often, but when we do these past 4-6 months or so it’s bad. I’m the type to want to work things out right away and he’s the type who likes time to cool off and be alone. So its usually me wanting to talk and him wanting me to leave him alone, pushing each other’s buttons and then recently he’s been resorting to insults when he’s pissed. “you’re being annoying”, “you’re being a bitch”, “stop acting stupid”, “shut up”- he called me an idiot once. Of course I know I’m not an idiot and he is always praising my intelligence so I know he’s just saying it when mad in the heat of the moment. I’ve also a few times, though not as much, called him an asshole or told him to shut up when angry.

90% of the time this happens because I admit I push for conversation when he wants time alone, which I need to work on as I feel it would’ve solved so many arguments in the past if we just both took time to cool off.

This is so out there for him and not him as a person, or me, and he always apologizes and feels like crap, and it doesn’t happen often as we don’t argue much. Usually a few times a year. But idk what’s up with 2020 with all of our stress it’s like we’re arguing not as a team anymore. Everything’s coming at us at once. Usually we tackle issues as a team, but lately it’s like we’re butting heads. We still love each other more than life itself and both agree we’ve been taking stress out on each other and have slipped into toxic territory and need to change. Divorce isn’t in our cards as this isn’t how we usually are and we know we can move on. We both stopped our individual hobbies back in March or so when everything hit since we’ve been so busy and I think that also has a lot to do with it - we haven’t had a lot of things to do to destress and haven’t been able to talk or see friends like we used to all the time and to have a good time and relax. Couples counseling isn’t financially feasible for us at this moment due to income issues. I feel like this could be a marriage rough patch. Do you have any tips on getting through one? Working on communication?

Advice? Please?