Overwhelmed

I just need to vent. I feel alone. I just recently got engaged. My fiancé works night shift. After work he comes home and sleeps until he gets up to go back to work. I own a flowershop but it’s slow since all weddings have been canceled due to Covid and funerals are private so no one is ordering for that. I decided to pick up a job waitressing 1 day a week. My fiancé is mad. I get 0 time to myself. I have no money to do anything for myself. I can’t even pay my bills right now. But I’m expected to not work. 1 day a week! To have a few hours away from the baby (who is over 1) and get a few bucks so I can Atleast pay my bills. I’m home constantly. I’m getting depressed. I’m alone all the time. I cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the baby, try and take care of myself, take the baby with me to the flowershop when I have orders... I just can’t really take it anymore. My life is the same thing every single day and I don’t even look forward to waking up in the morning anymore. I love my baby more than anything but I’m sick of doing everything alone. I understand my fiancé works but holy shit it’d be nice to even be able to shower by myself. I haven’t even shaved my legs for like 2 weeks because my son literally bawls unless he’s in the shower with me. I’m supposed to get married in August and I told him we’re pushing it off. I can’t plan a wedding on top of juggling a million things. I can’t imagine having more children with someone who hasn’t helped me the past year. I’ve talked to him. He changes for a week then goes back to the same habits. I’m over it. I’m sick of my life at this point.

He works 3 weeks on and 1 week off. He works 12 hour shifts 7 days a week, I know it’s a lot. I don’t expect him to do much. But for him to be pissy that I got a job 1 day a week and my mom is babysitting so we don’t even need to pay someone is just annoying to me.

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