Kinda embarrassing but I need advice

I have never orgasmed with my partner. He goes down on me and fingers me, it feels good but I can’t orgasm. I can only orgasm when I do it myself. I guess I could do that during sex but I feel a little awkward about it. I did grow up thinking sex was just for men’s pleasure so part of me feels like I’m inconveniencing him when he goes down on me and I worry that I’m taking too long and it’s hard to relax. I also have a hard time getting excited enough for it, yeah it’s fun but I don’t expect it to get me there so sometimes i just feel meh about it. He’s really sweet about it and tries so hard, it just doesn’t happen.