Thinking of suicide

It’s only January and I’m already dreading this entire year. My parents are splitting as of right now. I got into an argument with my boyfriend and it wasn’t..pretty. Then in December I just lost my grandfather to cancer. So I’m trying to grieve but things just keep piling up. I’m beyond depressed. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been depressed since I was ten. But this has just recently gotten worse. Can someone please tell me what to do? I’m so lost