Not okay

Whenever something serious happens my bf shuts down and disappears to deal with it on his own

Some serious stuff has happened that is affecting him, but also affecting me. In fact it was me that let him know something was wrong

He told me he would come over to talk but he never did and never called

The next day I felt so abandoned and I still do

He texted me two days later saying he’s going to court and stressed out and I pretty much told him how that does not excuse abandoning me

He says he hasn’t called because he can’t deal with fighting with me rn but I’m not trying to fight im trying to be with my partner and know wtf is going on instead of wondering on my own

I texted him yesterday essentially saying how I understand he has his own pains but not talking to me is going to destroy us

He said he would come over after work last night but when the time came he texted he’s not doing good and asked if he could come over this morning instead

I said okay. Well of course I haven’t heard from him all day

I know he is working but to not even send me a message...

I refuse to beg for attention because in the past it’s always me pouring my heart out and he knows better. He knows I’m broken but he’s distracting himself until he feels ready

This pain is too much. I am completely depressed. Im crying and screaming in agony. We’ve been through so much together but to leave me alone like this I don’t know that I can forgive it. Ive already forgiven so much. It’s not fair I don’t deserve it. Will I hear from tomorrow or the next day I do not know. But it’s not right and I’m not okay.