Buying crib crying you guy's I need your help

I really need some friends and support please. I'm seven months pregnant and I have been wanting to purchase a crib or bassinet since my boyfriend and I found out. I told him hey lets go to babies r us together and look at what crib we want and prices what we need to start saving up for. He ignored it, the thing is it might sound small but I really wanted him to be here. I wanted him to help me pick out a crib. We broke up and that's something I've been doing and I've been in a bad mood all day its because that's what I'm thinking about and I'm thinking why he did this our first pregnancy act like his things were more important and I'm starting to have nightmares he's with some other girl telling me if I had trust him we could of been together. But he treated me so bad every day he was selfish drinking lying I understand how do you think I fell for him he was hurt and torn up I sat down he opened up talked about his problems I thought he was a bird with a broken wing I could fix instead he was a mean crocodile with a rotten tooth I pulled instead of being grateful he bites us. So what kind of woman loves a man so horrible all these good innocent people falling victims. Guy's having kids leaving the woman or driving her to leaving on purpose guys aren't stupid. A guy knows what he wants knows what kind of future he wants and makes a effort. You don't have to wait to get your wife or girlfriend pregnant to decide that relationship isn't what you want, decide earlier on I felt lied to about everything, he took me on a baby moon my gut feeling that he did this because he had done something wrong you know cheaters remorse those husband that never care about you suddenly come home with flowers and gifts must be guilty of something it's true someone text him I read the text thinking I'll tell him its friends from the night before he was at the casino all night who knows what he was doing. I'm pregnant I don't want to go camping, I want romantic candles, a hotel room a lukewarm bubble bath go to the rooftop and hang out see the stars and head back in and actually be with each other. He takes me camping I'm uncomfortable, think about it jealousy problems I'm pregnant and his eyes wander we are at a beach this was a few months ago. Do you think I want to see people in bikinis and then fishing, I don't know anything about fishing, I hate mosquitoes and it was freezing cold at night instead of pitching a tent that I waited for all night I thought would be romantic we sleep in a tiny truck! So I'm crying on the canoe facing away from him all day, I'm crying because of how our relationship is and that was the babymoon he took me on his ideal date I understand the effort and money but come on then he says oh I didn't like the camping trip at all. Oh so you were supposed to like it after putting me through all the shit in the world I'm supposed to go camping and not think about it all. I was suicidal I thought about jumping the canoe and drowning. I'm thinking how did he not enjoy the camping trip, I for the first time hid my feelings, I shut up was quiet and gave him his space. That's what he's always saying he wants. I just don't understand men I don't understand how they think just say what you want, I'm not a perfect person I have hormones I have emotions I gain weight and lose weight so what's the problem, I thought you love someone through everything, I loved him no matter how he treated me.

Girls how do I find strength and power to get over him I know I deserve better.