I’m freaking out

I can only se my bf on weekends really.

I just spent the weekend skiing with his friends and him.

I have a thing where if I don’t leave feeling good then I have anxiety about the relationship all week until I see him again

Well when we left it was our group all getting into cars and we don’t like pda. So it just seemed quick.

And skiing there isn’t much talking ofc and we were all tired by the end. And it wasn’t exactly a smooth weekend. He made two comments that hurt my feelings basically saying I was being annoying when I kept complaining about the ski boots I borrowed hurting my feet (they were a size too small plus ski boots need to be super tight. Was like having a stick up my ass the entire time. But I sucked it up for the most part so I was ticked at the comment). The other was basically a comment on my looks that came out wrong so it just sounded like he said I wasn’t pretty all the time. He didn’t mean it like that but ...

I have a hard time putting my feelings out there and even tho I said I loved him two months ago when he first told me. The other week is when I actually did start to love him. So now I’m freaking night because statistically my first relationship at 20 is not going to last and I cannot go through a painful breakup. With my mental state how it already is plus this semester of school is going to be hellish I’m freaking out.

I hate anxiety and overthinking. I can’t talk to him about this because although Ik he’ll make me feel better , I don’t want him to think I’m a crazy clingy annoying gf. Because I’ve already annoyed him enough lately. Dear god I need to just go to sleep to stop thinking.