Anyone else?

I'm looking to find out if anyone else is experiencing/has experienced something similar to me!

Basically, all my teenage life I've been quite an independent girl, constantly focusing on self-improvement and destination addiction, but relatively happy and lucky.

When I began university last year, I got into a relationship very quickly with a boy I fell head over heels for. I pretty much spent all my time with him as I began to experience anxiety and depression for the first person in my life and he was the only person I felt comfortable speaking about it with as he often talked about his own mental health issues.

I completely lost the ability to find my other friendships important, I was constantly distracted by him, yet at the same time, I was so aware that my life had been nothing like this up until that point (as I said: super independent and single) and that was destroying me mentally for some reason?

I couldn't believe my life now centered around this boy, and I had let it happen! But, paradoxically, I always felt really avoidant around him like I wanted him to leave my house, or I didn't want to cuddle for too long, or I didn't like how clingy he was (he was very very very ok with being totally immersed in each other's lives).

Basically, my mental health suffered so much that about a month or two ago I ended the relationship as I had fully lost the ability to feel like myself inside, care for myself, self-soothe, and even be alone with my thoughts.

In one year my whole mental state changed and being in a relationship with him scared me SO much, even though I had always dreamt of having one.

CAN ANYONE ELSE RELATE?