Mil overstepping boundaries

Im just getting so beyond frustrated with my boyfriends family about my baby. I’m due in 5 weeks and this pregnancy has been very hard on me emotionally and physically. I’m very lucky to have my boyfriends family, they have bought a lot of our baby stuff and helped me find a new car when mine blew up while I was driving on the highway and loaned me a little to get a new one. So I can’t say they are bad overall. But sometimes they say/do shit that makes me so beyond uncomfortable. First off my MIL cried when we told her I was pregnant. Not bc she was happy but bc we aren’t married nor do we plan to be. Literally later that day she changed her mind and said she’s happy she’ll have a grand baby. During my first trimester she was very pushy and made me feel awful bc I was careful about what I ate (followed my doctors orders on what not to eat while pregnant) and would try to say that I’m just picky and won’t eat what she makes. For my baby shower she bought a bunch of “big ticket items” bc my mom was coming and told my bf and I she was upset she can’t afford to get us the expensive things we wanted and my bf told him mom that. We are grateful for what his mom got but she wasn’t planning on buying any of it until he told her what my mom said so I feel like she was trying to one-up my mom (she also talks a lot of crap about my mom on a very regular basis). She didn’t want to follow anything on my registry bc I “don’t know what I really want” even tho I did a lot of research on what brands and products I wanted to use. She bought her own bassinet, swing, and other baby stuff for her house before she ever bought any baby stuff for us. Even went as far as to get a house with an extra room and painted blue for my baby to have his own room there. When I told her I decided against circumcising our son, she made me feel awful and told me I was going to make him get bullied and not like himself. When I told her I wasn’t planning on the epidural she also made me feel awful. Every time I see her, which is often, she tells me I won’t be able to do it and I shouldn’t even try to go without one. She constantly tells me in extreme detail how awful her birth experiences were no matter how many times I tell her the details she tells me makes me sick to my stomach and gives me awful anxiety.

And then recently my SIL got a bunch of baby clothes and things from her fiancé’s sister, and she left them at her moms house for me to pick up since we worked opposite shifts and she didn’t want to keep ahold of all of it as it was taking up her whole trunk. My MIL called me to ask when I was coming over to get it so I told her I’m off at 7pm I will come by to pick it up and thanked her for holding it for me until I was off. She then told me she wants me to stay for a couple hrs to go thru it all with her so she can take what she wanted out of it. I told her I was exhausted from working all day I just wanted to take it home and I’d wash it with my baby laundry soap but I would bring back stuff for her to keep at her house bc when I’m off maternity leave my other SIL will be watching him so I can work. She told me no, she will go thru it by herself then bc she wants to take what she wants out of it first. I insisted that I’d rather take it home and wash it with my soap and she then asked me what soap I use bc she wants to wash it all and keep why she picks.

It just makes me so nervous that she really won’t listen to me about my son when I have him. I’m already not 100% sold on his SIL watching him just bc she lives with my MIL and I don’t think my MIL will respect my rules as the mother but my bf insists we have to bc 1) I don’t want to work full time and 2) we can’t afford daycare nor does he feel comfortable having our kid at one. Which is true and I understand but at the same time does it not give her more of a chance to “take over” my roll as the mother and disregard my wishes as to how we raise him? I am a first time mom and these things make me so nervous. I was raised in a very abusive household and so I hold very strong opinions on how we will disciple and parent our kids as I don’t want them going thru what I did. I do love my bf’s family and I am so grateful we have them to be there for us and our baby but I don’t want his mom to get the wrong idea that she will be able to walk all over me bc I trust her with having him at her house while I work.