confused about a guy 🥴

let me add I’m 19 turning 20 soon .. he’s like in his young 20’s I’m not sure I never bother to ask but I can ask once I text him again

y’all I dislike myself at the moment for even thinking this but y’all would have to know a few things about the guy before I say anything just know it’s about to be crazy but I have no one to speak to so just tell me what you think (good or bad ) .

I know not every family is perfect but my family is pretty fucked up . There’s drama everywhere but what family doesn’t have their problems

1) his older brother is married to my aunt

2) his older sister is married to my cousin ( my aunts son )

3) he fucked a aunt of mines & a cousin of mines ( aunt is my cousins mom ) < this is MAINLY why I don’t like myself when I first heard of it 🤮🤮

4) his older brother is my stepdads cousin ex & baby daddy 😂 ( same brother as #1 which has nothing to do with him but still )

but before he did 3 . He always flirted with me & tried to talk to me but my other aunt stopped him b4 he got too carried away . Well you know families be throwing party & you just pop up . Well every time we at a party . I catch him smiling at me & OMG HIS DIMPLES just make me melt . I would post stories & he would heart it & etc . well two days ago he texted me usually when we text it wouldn’t only be a how you doing text but this time we had a actual conversation & it’s still going . He was at my house with my stepdad painting a trailer & I was helping them do the wording & he would smile at me . Kind of a dumbass cause my stepdad is very protective of me & he wouldn’t like that💀💀 but my stepdad didn’t notice . But yeah we started texting & now I just can’t stop thinking well if I like him it’s wrong in many ways bc family will talk shit but also the past is the past & we can’t change that . We can only Create our future . Also it might just be that I want some dick in my life . I’m giving it time cause it’s not that I like like him , I can’t even explain it but its like when someone gives you attention & is sweet to you . You kinda start liking them .

& he was at my house again today to help my stepdad fix the pool table & I made chocolate covered strawberries & our inside refrigerator didn’t have space so my sister & I went to our outside one & as soon as he saw me he smiled so big 🥺 so I smiled back but I couldn’t stand there & talk to him cause my stepdad would think something sketchy is happening since I usually don’t talk to any guys that are at the house .

Sorry for ranting . I just don’t want to talk about this to anybody I know I figured why not post & vent about it .

Update 3/16-

His sister & my cousin threw a party for their son & we all traveled up there & I had my air bed set up & he was there also . Um we actually slept together that night ( not sexually ) just cuddled . We obviously have been texting & etc .

My aunt told me I shouldn’t worry about what people think bc it’s my life & he’s gonna be dating me & not them .. she also said he’s a player bc he has had lots of girls .. but it’s only been 4 girls he’s been with . Also she said that it’s only weird if we make it weird . Clearly I’m not close with my cousin, i don’t know how she would react if she finds out. A cousin of mine said it’s weird that he’s been with my cousin & I agree . But that’s a cousin I only see twice or three times a year

My mom doesn’t like him so ik she is so not gonna like that I like him & maybe would wanna be with him . I don’t think my stepdad would like him & I dating .

I’m scared of being kicked out just bc if that :(

Also we plan on going out this Saturday so we can get to know each other more . He wants something serious with me & he hopes I want the same thing . & y’all I can’t get over the fact that his brother & him look the same 😂 .

Sorry I just needed to rant cause I have no one to talk to . My sister doesn’t even like him or this situation so I can’t speak to her :/