Is having a newborn this hard?

Question

Is having a two month old really this hard? Kinda feeling like I’m the only one here who has this baby attached to my hip from morning until night? He does not like daytime nights and gets fussy. I don’t even have time to brush my teeth. When my husband comes home I’m in the same gross sweat pants I was when he left for work. I seriously have zero time for anything and it’s not really getting better I am just getting better at finding out what he needs. My therapist wants me to be super wife to my new husband by doing laundry and having a nice home to come home to when he gets home. I tried today but husband came home when baby was crying bloody nursery because he was hungry and I was on the floor feeding him with gross hair and no makeup and blood on my pants because I got my first period and no time to put a pad in 🤦‍♀️ is this seriously normal or is my life with a newborn extra hard? How in the world do women have it all together during this time? Would be husband really get grossed out because I’m not the hot wife he married? I’m pretty gross right now no joke and so not put together

Answer

Newborn stage is SO hard! I had three. It does get easier. Put your baby down. Jump in the shower for 10 minutes and put them in their crib. They’ll be fine. Self care is a HUGE part of feeling normal.

Answer

First off, fire your therapist. No therapist should ever tell you to live like that. Second, when I had a newborn, I’d strap my son into his bouncer next to my shower, playing music. He would cry a little, but mostly he laughed or fell asleep. I just always made sure he was fed before I showered so he wasn’t starving or really crying. When my son napped is when I cleaned. But at 2 months in, I slept when he did for the first half of the day until I got a total of 6 hours of sleep for the day. I brush my teeth as soon as I wake up. My son mostly wakes up happy, but even when he doesn’t, teeth need brushing. Or brush while holding your baby in your arms after they have eaten. I’ve done that several times. You will get the hang of it. And girl, what do you do when you need the bathroom? Put baby in a safe spot, and go. If baby is crying anyway, what does it matter if you put them down and they continue crying. Plus my husband told me last night, do I remember crying at 6 months, the answer was of course not. Your baby will be okay. You’re obviously not neglecting them. I put my son in his swing when I need the bathroom. And he may cry for a minute but he usually ends up falling asleep or calming down because when you gotta go, you gotta go. You can’t take care of your baby if you’re not taking care of yourself as well. Hang in there. And your spouse can help too. If not, then you have bigger problems. My husband does lots of cleaning and all the laundry. I cook now, but I definitely wasn’t consistent at it until my son was 10-12 weeks. Give yourself a break.

Answer

You are the perfect example of how a new mom is and very well should be. Find a new therapist what world is she from? I PERFECTLY remember how i had 0 time to brush, comb , change, pray, cook or eat with my first born .. i would stay in the same clothes cuz he ws going to spit on them anyway🙄my husband was very understanding as he should be..he would give me time after he got back by taking over baby ..i had some time to do my stuff ....dont bother take care of urself sweetheart ...baby steps will get you there...itll take months but soon ur baby will be on a schedule where his naps will be few but longer and deeper so u will have time for getting things in order..till then survival mode ON.💓💓💓

Answer

I felt this exact same way. It really does get easier. The first few months were very depressing and hard for me. I barely showered , I was exhausted and never had time to clean or get ready. I was always in sweats with my hair in a bun. By the time she hit like 4-5 months it did get much easier. You adjust and it becomes normal. Also when they aren’t newborns it makes it much easier to be able to put them down with toys and shower or clean or cook ! Don’t worry , you got this just hang in there. 
Also I’m sure your husband knows and sees how much you do. Moms are literal super humans. My husband told me he likes how I look better now than before because I gave him our baby and take care of her all day.

Answer

It is very hard!! I use to bring in his play may into the restroom while I showered 🤷🏻‍♀️I put some nursery rhymes on and had him play. 
Showers for me were the best self care when our baby was a new born. Try something like this so you can freshen up, hopefully you’ll feel better!

Answer

Try babywearing to help get things done around the house. 
When he naps dash for the shower. 
Its gets easier dont worry. This stage is hard but the rest is a Breeze. 
Well until they turn 2 and are complete devils.

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New moms always make the mistake of keeping their baby on them 24/7. Put the baby down. If he cries, you can pick up, soothe, then put down. Next time he cries wait longer and do it again. 
Take a shower. Do your makeup. Change your clothes.
Get some sanity back!

Answer

All babies are different as are parenting situations. Your baby may be in a needy phase just in the 4th trimester or that may be his personality. My 2nd baby is a true velcro baby still at age one. She only wants me all the time including to sleep. Being at home with a toddler too, i feel like a mess but have found things that work and accepted I can't have everything exactly as i prefer right now. That is hard because i want everything perfect. I do know i won't regret meeting my baby's needs though. I would think your husband would understand. 
First i would look for a different therapist. A trained professional should understand you are still figuring out life with your new baby. They should also recognize your baby may be extra high needs. 
I discovered wearing my daughter in a carrier while vacuuming would put her to sleep and allow me to do some things while wearing her. Occasionally i could then lay baby down once asleep but for us that was rare. If you want to hold or rock baby for naps while you sit, that's okay too.  My personality tells me i need to tend to baby when she cries pretty immediately but if you feel ok letting baby cry so you can do something thats okay too within reason. I was okay with a little fussing or crying if i had to do something like help my toddler but my 2nd baby escalates pretty quickly so i usually just meet her needs quickly. I would plan ahead with my husband to shower at night as i could usually only sneak away 20 minutes while she was okay/content with him and she breastfed constantly at a young age.  Things are very different with her but accepting her the way she is helps. 
You may find googling about velcro babies helps describe your situation so you feel less alone. People truly don't understand unless they have one. You may find your son grows out of this stage very soon too. Either way it will get easier on some level. Of course if you have anyone to help that lifts a lot of stress but i don't really and my baby is mostly only wanting me. 
You are doing your best for you and your baby. Be kind to yourself! Your situation doesn't have to look like how others lives appear because it is your own. Hopefully you start feeling better!

Answer

First of all, your therapist is crazy right? I get that getting up and doing things around the house can boost your energy, but asking you to keep the house clean for your husband with a small baby, is insane. Your husband should be helping you out when he gets home. Take the baby even for an hour so you can shower and put on some clean clothes. 
Remember mama, you cannot be the best mom or wife without taking care of yourself first. Get a little lounger seat and put baby in the bathroom with you as you shower. Get a baby carrier so you can walk around the house and get stuff done with the baby. Lay baby on a play mat and do tummy time with toys, music, tv, whatever you can. Just help the baby learn to be without you. If your baby is fed, dry, and safe, you can put them down in a safe space so you can breathe.

Answer

You are not alone. It's most definitely that hard!! Lean on anyone and everyone you can for help. You just had a human come out of you!!! Don't worry about having a spotless house and having everything perfect!! Make sure the baby is fed and has a dry diaper, put him in a playpen or bassinet and take a shower. If the baby cries it will be ok. This stage doesn't last forever and will pass. But it is so so hard. Also make sure you talk to your doctor about how your feeling. They can help! You can message me anytime if your needing someone to talk to. Cheer up momma, your doing great!!!

Is having a newborn this hard?

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