I’m such a push over. Because of covid no one was allowed to visit me and baby in the hospital when she was born on 1/29 and so when I got home everyone wanted to come and see her. I have two other kids at home I had to slowly have come back and introduce to baby and get them used to her on top of everything else. My dad lives down in Kentucky so every time he comes to visit he stays in my guest room which is no problem since he’s quite and helps with the kids a lot. The big problem is my sister (20) who comes over every day (mostly to see dad and spend time with him) but when she comes she dumps her stuff all over my house and leaves trash everywhere and yells at my kids for basically breathing in her direction. Then I have the stress of my other family members coming and my boyfriends family coming over as well so every day is like at least 4 visitors in my house if not more plus me, my bf and my two other kids.

It is now Wednesday and I’ve only had one night just me and kids and bf to adjust and relax and deal with baby and haven’t had a single day alone to relax and just be comfortable in my own home and even after every one leaves my house is beyond trashed and messed up and my bf does such a great job trying to help keep it clean, but my anxiety and ocd on cleanliness drives me crazy so I can’t just leave it alone or to someone else to do. I’m just so tired and exhausted and I’m too scared and big of a pushover to tell people to leave/not come over and then I have all this guilt if my bf does it for me or something. I know I need to rest and heal but I’m just going through it so hard. Postpartum isn’t helping and I’m balling my eyes out in my bfs arms every night just trying to get through all the emotions. Tomorrow is the first day everyone will be gone and no one will come over and I will finally be alone with my family. 😭😭