Returning to work after maternity leave

I am returning to work on February 16th and the thought of leaving my son is so hard. I have been hysterical and I know that sounds dramatic but I really am struggling. The thought of being gone most of the time while my MIL gets to spend all the time with him and teach him everything is really hard to think about. We cannot get him into daycare because of COVID, the daycares are not accepting new applicants. My husband works a 5-5-4 schedule meaning he works 5 and then is off 5 etc.. so he has plenty of time home with our son and doesn’t understand how I feel at all.

The thought of everyone getting so much time with him except for me is hard to think about. I am a Nurse and will be working in COVID Response, so I will be working 40+ hours a week as things are crazy right now.

How did you mamas handle returning to work? How was the transition? Any advice?