Freakin depression

Every time I think I'm gonna beat this shit it just reminds me that I will never be free of it. I've had the best things in the whole wide world happen to me and I haven't been able to enjoy not one of them... Not one single moment. Ive been robbed every Good feeling or positive. I always and only feel the bad and negative ones. I'm tired yall. I'm sad sick and tired of this life. I am scared to death when the day comes when i start to feel just tired of life in general because im lose.