So I only just found I was pregnant because I was bleeding for about a month and I thought it was my new medication (I’m not on any contraception) and my mother in law suggested I took a pregnancy test to be sure. I took a clear blue test which was a positive but I was sure that it was a false positive as blue dye is notorious for that. So obviously I took the other two tests in the box and there it was all three positives and here I was thinking “what are the chances of all of them being false positives?” Well reality hit that I just finally conceived after a year and a half of ttc. I immediately went to the hospital because I was way too eager to find out why I was bleeding so heavily and got a positive test. Sitting there anxiously for hours I was sent home to come back to the hospital for an ultrasound and blood tests. They told me what happened and I just wanted to collapse, I say there quiet as how the lady doing my internal scan said “it was good news that my body fully cleaned itself” which wasn’t what I was exactly hoping to hear. My family was supportive but sometimes really insensitive by getting me to buy baby clothes and furniture for my sister in law and telling me that even after a year of trying that “at least I know I can fall pregnant now”. I feel like everyone just moved on from it and I’m still stuck here sleepless and crying historically for hours on end and a loss of appetite. I really do feel selfish, I always see those posts about how no matter how earlier or late in the pregnancy it’s still the same amount of pain, which I feel is so true. But I hardly got to wrap my head around I was creating life inside me, so I’m sitting here burying my head in thoughts that it’s somewhat wrong to be upset like this, even though I know it’s normal to feel upset and to grieve. My head has so many mixed emotions at one stage a few days ago I thought it was all in my head and I was going crazy and what happened never happened. Its just so hard to wrap my head around it and I don’t know how to handle it.