What should I do

Question

Me and my girlfriend been together for almost 4 years I just turned 19 and she is 21 long story short I cheated on her last year February and I honestly regret it anyways she was on birth control almost all the relationship but when I cheated she stop taking them  which I understand but she never told me and she got pregnant and I thought me and her was on the same page She told me and honestly I told her to get a abortion  I know that sounds like an asshole but at that time I was still 18 an just got some freedom  but I didn’t want to be one of those boyfriends and Force her to get an abortion  that would eat me up inside but I want to come to a agreement me and her but I keep trying to talk to her but she would cry or just not want to talk about it and a lot of time past and now she can’t have an abortion she’s due in 3 week and I don’t know what to do she moved in with me and now all I hear is about the baby  tbh I don’t know what to do I thought I want going to shrug it off and say that’s life￼￼￼ but I been really depressed lately and been honestly sad about my son coming to the world

Accepted Answer

I feel for you so badly. I know my opinion is not that accepted by women but in my opinion if what you are saying is true then when she didnt tell you she stopped taking the pill and kept having unprotected sex with you she chose to have that baby by herself. You were not part of that discussion and just like you can not force her to have an abortion a woman shouldnt be able to force a man to raise a baby they dont want to have. (And before anyone says something to me about not knowing the situation I have a son  whos father has never been in his life and I have never asked him for help financially or otherwise. He didnt want to be a father and it is better for my son to not have him around then to have a man around who resents him and never wanted to be a dad) If a woman can terminate a pregnancy without the fathers consent then a father can at least choose to leave. Hate my comment if you want but thats what I believe personally. I am in no way trying to force anyone else to believe the way I do.

Answer

Both of you should go to couples counseling. This kind of thing can fester into something worse.
Having a newborn is so incredibly hard, it is wonderful and stressful at the same time. Make sure you both can be in the best mental place for your baby.

Answer

why are people saying you should leave her or talk to her? i don’t get it. 
it sounds like you have depression! fathers can experience that, too. please, please seek professional help! post partum depression sent me for a whirlwind having my second child. some mother’s can experience this while they’re pregnant and it’s hardly talked about so i’m so glad you as a father is speaking your truth! like tremendously PROUD! 
this is all hitting you very fast and i’m sure you feel confused, angry, happy, sad all in one! those are all normal feelings (as far away as that feels) given the circumstances. i question why people are asking you to talk to her or leave her because right now — this is WAY beyond her. when we feel emotions we’re not used to or very intensely, we look at someone to blame. she’ll blame you forever for cheating and you’ll blame her forever for this baby...BUT, you both laid down and had sex. birth control is never 100% effective and even IF she stopped taking it, you both made very adult decisions. now, your mental state is the most important factor when it comes to this innocent child. 
i can’t even believe i’m saying most of this because a few weeks ago, i was in such a dark place but it helps sooo much to talk to a professional and not just any therapist, but one who specializes in something of this sort OR like i said, a post partum group and i’m sure there’s MANYYYYY for fathers online somewhere like zoom for easy access. just google it! i wish you the absolute best. parenthood can be intimidating for anyone, but it is possible to overcome and experience a love you never knew before. remember, take care of yourself FIRST and then you can take care of this child.

Answer

Honestly I'm Soo glad you posted this. Lately my brother has been avoiding me. Like for a month or better. His daughter is 2 months the other day. I was wondering if something like this could be the cause being as he hadn't been with her long and it was not planned. 
Asides from my own life.
I think you should be honest with her. Maybe get into therapy. A baby is a big change and a hard one especially if you weren't prepared mentally for it. She is due pretty soon and you need to at least be on the same page. You did make a baby and have to care for him now. That being said if you are unable to mentally,  you should share that with her. Sometimes talking can help a ton. Also maybe try to be more involved in her pregnancy or do something together. I'm not sure how to help if a future family wasn't in your plans except use protection next time. There is always not being a dad but that isn't good for your child and not exactly fair to the mother of your child. 
If you need to talk and your girl won't trip message me. Or maybe have her message me. I hope you are able to work through this. 
Seeing your newborn may actually help.

Answer

you should be there for your kid even if you wanted her to have an abortion. It takes 2 to make a baby and if you weren’t ready for this you should not be having sex. You can literally get pregnant every time you have sex if you get lucky, condoms/birth control or not. If you’re unsure about your relationship don’t even bother to make it a huge problem, just put your feet down and say you want to co-parent. this just sounds to me like you’re unhappy with your gf & soon to be born-baby. Don’t be too hard on yourself because this is reality now and you have a baby that’s coming into the world that needs your love and support. It’s time to man up.

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I’m so sorry she did this to you. I know you cheated.. but that’s nothing compared to what she did to you! She’s an awful person for this.

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Guys get the baby blues too. My husband was very depressed about having a baby and losing his independence. We're 30. He took a lot longer to adjust to the baby than me.
I think support her mentally but tell her the truth. You want to be excited about the baby but your not. 
She's in full hormone and nesting mode so shrugging it off will be worse for you and her. Just active listen.

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You need to talk to her,  and let her know how you feel.  The asshole in me would say leave her but if you really care about her and everything try and make it work.

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Hahahahhahaha and your username is daddy hahahahahahah

Answer

When did she get pregnant?

What should I do

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