I've been feeling extremely shit about myself recently. I can see myself putting on more weight, my clothes aren't fitting me the same and things are becoming harder like going up stairs or getting up off the floor and other general life things. I hate what I see when I look directly at body. But I don't hate it when I think about what it's given me. My 2 daughters, 18 months apart and they are now 3 and 20 months old. I started to work out when my 1st daughter was 9 months old and that same week I found out I was pregnant so I had to stop doing what I was doing because my body was very new to exercise and I was worried my body wouldn't cope so I stuck to walking and being sensible with my meal choices etc. Until I got to about 33 weeks and I just couldn't be bothered everything was getting so much harder and with a 1 year old I found myself snacking and eating late at night because I was missing meals. Then when my 2nd daughter was born she was a hard baby. The complete opposite to my 1st. She didn't sleep very long in the day or night until she was about 10 months old. She didn't feed properly either until she was weaned so it was a case of surviving so I didn't eat or drink properly, ordered fast food way too much. Snacked on rubbish. And then it christmas. After Christmas, my fiance got diagnosed with PTSD after finding his dad dead last April (that's a whole other story) then my 16 year old sister attempted suicide so I've been sorting her out and my disabled sister was sexually assaulted in her residential home so it's been alot and I've been at the bottom of the pile.

BUT

Tonight I put the kids to bed my fiance is working late so I got charged and worked out. It was only 15 mins but I got my heart racing and it felt good. I'm going to try get it done at least 3-4 times a week. I need to start putting me first. I'm important to and I'm starting to realise that now.