Need advice for a good friend!😞⚠️
Possible trigger warning ⚠️ Please read til the end! I have a very good friend who recently came to me with an issue she’s been having for YEARS that she has told basically no one about! It’s gotten so bad to where she has finally told me what’s going on! I honestly don’t even know where to begin. I’m not the greatest at giving advice as it is or the best knowledgeable in mental health. I feel like I’m zero help to her. ****She gave me permission to ask here for advice because she’s just scared & more so confused (also doesn’t have the app.)****
First off, she absolutely wants it to be known that she has ZERO plans of harming herself/others. She has zero desire to cause any harm whatsoever. This is a major point she said to me. She is also aware that she needs to talk to someone and she wants to, but afraid she can’t afford a therapist/psychiatrist. She is also afraid of being “sent away” even though she means no harm, she feels as though someone would take something she says wrong and want her hospitalized. This is a scary thing for her because she has a young child (who is her entire world, and that she has never left since birth!)
Like I previously said, this has been going on for years, since high school days, but has recently seemed to take a scary/confusing turn for her. I will try to be straight forward but also not make this super long/in depth. She has awful thoughts that just won’t go away. Day in and day out. All day every day. She gets images in her head that she can’t stop seeing. Of things that have never even happened and things that she would never want to happen or do. She says it’s like her thoughts aren’t her own and she just can’t get rid of them. And she’s been dealing with this for such a long time. I can’t even imagine :(! She is so convinced that because of what’s happening, it makes her a horrible person and she is going to hell. This is one of my best friends I’m talking about. My best friend, who is an amazing mother, who is a great wife to her husband and would give the shirt off her back to anyone!
She also has extremely bad tics that cause her pain that she has never gone to a doctor for, it’s almost like Tourette’s, but she is able to suppress them if she absolutely must. When she is very happy or extremely upset/stressed the tics are extremely noticeable. This is important because she suppresses shouting profanities but sees the words in her head over and over again and grunts/squeaks. She also insults people all day long in her head instead of shouting them. I don’t think that bothers her as much as this one. The images she gets flashes of are scaring her and confusing her at the same time. Scary because it’s of things she’d NEVER do or wish to happen. Scary because she feels like she’s going to hell for this. Again, she wants me to make it a point to say that she has never self harmed in her life, doesn’t plan to and has no desire to. But constantly sees herself in her head doing something to hurt herself/loved ones. Confusing because she has no idea why it’s happening to her all of a sudden. Confusing because she has no desire to do anything to herself or those she loves. She says to me, “I have a baby who needs me. I would never do anything to myself or anyone else. I want to be here 100%” Apparently it all used to just be seeing word profanities but now that seems to have moved to the back burner and now all she sees are these images. How do I help my friend guys?😞 She has come to me with tears and I can just see the pain on her face this is causing! Keeping this a secret since she was a teen, and just NOW telling someone (now late 20’s). I realize this is obviously not the place for a diagnosis, she realizes this as well. But we both are honestly curious if someone out there is having the same problems? What’s the course of action here you think? Should she fear if she talks to someone, they’ll hospitalize her? (That’s her main question - she doesn’t want to be separated from her child and has/will not threaten harm) I don’t want her to feel alone. I want her to know there is hope and a way to deal with this! ANY advice would be tremendous, and I will surely relay positive messages to her❤️ thank you! Apologies that this is long!
Update : Thanks for the responses, I made her aware and as stated above, she realizes she needs to talk to someone! It’s just doing it, she’s having difficulty with. I’m going to support my friend in any way that I can through this. I checked on her today and she said she feels a huge weight off of her just from it not being a secret with herself anymore. I will continue to urge her to speak to someone but until she takes that step, I will be all ears for her!