3 weeks PP; feeling terrible

I have so many feelings. I just feel unappreciated. I deep cleaned my bathroom earlier this week, since I spend a lot of time in here- with all the stuff it takes for me just to pee... I felt joy and refreshed after seeing it so clean, like its a safe place for me to just take a break when I need to go to the bathroom.

My husband works 6pm-6am with an hour commute, and I found out at 8pm that he clogged the toilet before rushing out the door at 5pm. I was just crushed. I feel so degraded and awkward having to carry all of my postpartum bathroom stuff to my other bathroom in front of my in-laws who are staying with me.

I just feel like my spaces are being disrespected and trashed.

Like, my in-laws have been losing my baby’s bottles in couch cushions and random weird places, they just leave them around and don’t bring them to the sink, so I have to go on a whole journey to find them and clean them myself (or it doesn’t get done). They’ll say they helped with laundry, but I find out it’s only a quarter of the way done.

They bring food that I can’t eat and just leave it out everywhere. They keep buying my baby clothes that I hate and are extremely weird sizes. I’ve tried to express that I don’t want them, and they’ve stopped at least with the clothes...

I lost 20lbs since birth, which is 20lbs less than I was pre-pregnancy, so everyone is saying I’ve snapped back. I feel skinny, but I don’t feel cute or sexy, I feel broken and I’m still trying to heal. My husband can’t keep his hands off me, which is flattering, but I feel constant pressure whenever he touches me. Like I just want hugs or kisses for comfort and affection, I don’t want to make out or blow him... I just feel like an object, and I feel ignored... ugh