TTC, Mortgages and Defeated

Last night my husband and I got into a long talk about TTC and the future. We have been TTC since June but I have PCOS and this was my first month using clomid. We've been talking about buying a condo and moving out of our apartment.

But the problem is, I want to be a SAHM.

The only way we could afford for me to stay home right now is if we forego the home purchase and use the downpayment money to make ends meet. If we buy, all our savings would be gone and I'd have to go back to work.

So then the logical next thought was to put off TTC for another year until we gained back more savings after the purchase. This thought makes me feel really emotional and defeated.

I feel like putting off ttc is selfish. I want to put it in God's hands and trust that He'll work things out. But I also feel like it's irresponsible to ttc when I wouldn't be able to take care of it myself.

Can anyone else relate to this? I'm feeling really alone.

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Update: thank you for all your encouragement! I think we are going to take a break from the clomid and spend some time considering what our lives might look like if we had a baby and I kept working. It is an ongoing discussion.