Guilt and Shame - Religious

Did anyone else grow up in the church and was taught everything to do with sex and modesty with a thick covering of guilt and shame?

I have now been married for 4 years and I struggle still so hard with feeling guilt and shame for feeling pleasure during sex. But also feel guilt and shame if I do not pleasure my husband. (The guilt and shame all come from myself and not my husband.)

Here is something I read that explains really well what I was taught about sex and pleasure growing up.

"Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Your pants are too tight. Don’t show so much skin. Don’t show your thighs. Don’t show your breasts. Don’t show your midriff. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t show your underwear. Don’t show your shoulders. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Dress modestly. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves.

Men have needs. You look frumpy. Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. Don’t wear those sweatpants; you look like you’ve let yourself go.

Be a lady they said. Save yourself. Be pure. Be virginal. Don’t talk about sex. Don’t flirt. Don’t be a skank. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Don’t lose your dignity. Don’t have sex with too many men. Don’t give yourself away. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so up tight. Have a little fun. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be virginal. Be sexy. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

Just “be a lady” they said."

Am I just really messed up or does anyone else still struggle with these feelings post marriage?