Mad/scared of my child’s father

So I think I posted on here earlier but anywho.

In a nutshell I’m so anxious of my paternity test to the point where I can’t enjoy my baby and I resent him for getting me pregnant. I understand it was my choice to continue the pregnancy but he’s so emotionally abusive that even though he’s in jail I constantly fear his retaliation If it’s not his. I know it’s irrational to be afraid of someone who’s incarcerated but he tried to lie and falsify claims to have me arrested last year so I know he can be vindictive when he wants to. I just wish this paternity thing wouldn’t take so long!