Miscarriage & looking for inspiration

Hi everyone, this post will have sensitive material so please take care of yourself and your emotional needs as you read.

I was pregnant for the first time until today. Two days ago I went to the doctor for a scan because I had a tiny bit of spotting and I measured 8 weeks and there was a strong heartbeat. The spotting stopped after that one small amount. I went today (feeling very hopeful!) for my regular appointment and the heartbeat wasn’t there. I am about to turn 33 and my husband and I would ideally like to have a few kids so I know time isn’t on my side. Now I have to decide between a D&C and a natural miscarriage. I’m crushed, especially after seeing the heartbeat two days ago. But I know life is fragile and the first trimester sees many miscarriages.

I’m reaching out for advice and inspiration. What helped you move past this hurdle? I’m scared to physically miscarry soon, I’m scared I won’t enjoy a future pregnancy because I’ll be so nervous, and I’m scared I won’t ever be able to have kids.

Please send your powerful words of wisdom because I know there is a huge collective strength in this community.