How will I know

So I am 31 years old, female. Anyways I’ve been having a lot of struggles in my relationship world. Most men just want to meet up and have sex. Well I’m not like that. I was married and our sex life was not that great. After that I dated another man and it felt so great. Seems like I like sex with some men because I feel like they know what their doing. But also I know them. This guy I was hanging out with last night didn’t even have a connection. I didn’t feel the feel goods while he was touching me or anything. I think something is wrong with me or like I’m not hanging around the ones I’m truly interested in. For so long I’ve been keeping it to myself thinking I’m asexual. I did date a girl too and I really loved her, I love making people feel good because I rarely get off during sex. So I don’t even try. It only works when I do it to myself. I’m currently loosing it because this makes me feel like I’m abnormal or something. I’ve talked to my doctor but really there’s nothing and barely anyone can understand me. I really need someone to talk to because I’m at a point to where I might be asexual and Demisexual. If you want to talk this out with me please let me know in the comments below otherwise, idk who to talk to besides a therapist and that might take months. Sorry if this offends anyone I’m just clueless.