Baby blues or PPD

Hello everyone,

I really just need some advice and words of encouragement. I delivered my beautiful baby girl last Thursday on 4/8/21. I had a rough pregnancy with her emotionally wise. I was very sensitive about things and would cry a lot in tough situations. But felt fine for the most, I was so anxious to have her and kept counting down the days. My labor and delivery went well I was fine until I got home and then it all hit me. Everyday it seems to be getting worse. I have constant racing thoughts all day of just thinking negative. It’s hard to explain but I feel very disconnected from the world, not feeling like I know my purpose anymore or don’t see life being exciting anymore. I feel like what now? Like everyone else’s lives is moving on their happy and I’m just stuck feeling hopeless and depressed and crying all the time. Doesn’t help that I don’t have many friends anymore. I always had a bunch a friends anymore. I would hang out with, go get drinks with and just do fun stuff with. Now I just have my mom, grandma, 2 friends that I’m not that close with and my partner. I hate when my partner leaves the house and just want him to stay and hold me all day. He’s going back to work soon and I’m a nervous wreck to not have anyone home with me. I get it the worst at night especially when everyone goes to sleep before me and I’m just up by myself. I feel so alone, I don’t know how to shake this feeling. I just want to be happy again and make plans to look forward to and feel like life has more to offer me. I’ve always dealt with depression but mine was always come and go but These baby blues are really kicking my butt.