Hello,

I am under going chemotherapy for stage 4 multi systemic cancer. I also have a elderly father who is terminal and elderly mum I care for. I thought I met the man of my dreams six months ago - after a extremely abusive relationship. He came off like the most wonderful lad!! Always attentive, flowers, calling, checking in on me - asking when my appointments are. He is a Phlebotomist and I even met him while drawing my blood for one of my oncologists. So needless to say, we began a few passionate and loving relationship. But slowly my eyes open , he has two ex wives and 3 children. But even with our first date the drama was insane!!! His over involved and nosey Grandmother/ and Mother , they both had nothing but contempt for me and made snap decisions and assumptions regarding my character. He even explained that I hold several degrees in behavioral science, and worked with Rainn and Polaris Project before taking leave for my illness! His mother and grandmother both called me names I rather not repeat, due to his wanting me to stay over. Little did I know it hadn't even been 2 months since he broke it off with the woman who still lived in his home and I found that out the day of coming over that evening!!! As time passed his family's attitude worsened , racist terms came to the fore.

I never felt accepted, they even said at the beginning " we will met her when its time, not now its to soon". While in stark contrast my family accepted him with open arms even into our home and allowed him to drive the family vehicle to one of many procedures he receives for his spine due to service in the marine core to assist with pain in his spine. I was ridiculed and mocked because I'm not a christan but a pagan and open minded supportive of the LGBTQ community and advocate for BLM etc. His grandmother and mother and ex wives and daughters were critical of myself, even saying hurtful or cruel statements he repeated to me - even the ex wife of his two daughters said harshly " I would hate for you to be at square one , if she dies". His families insensitive statements crushed me, they all put me in my ground before my time. I also began to notice inconsistencies with him as well, the entire relationship was rushed , even our first date he had to see me the same night again. He called and texted excessively!! If I didn't respond he assumed the worse, he wanted me to stay at his home for weeks at a time. But I had to leave every other weekend because both his ex and daughters didn't want anything to do with me , even now after half a year!! They are openly disrespectful and all of them bully him and he allows it, they all have failed marriages and no room to talk! Everyone has something to say about me! His mother cornered me and quizzed me about my cancer rudely when she finally deemed it time to met , his grandmother was extremely cold and hostile. The only person who defended me during a beautiful home cooked meal I made from scratch was my own mum! ( even made the tiramisu his mother begged for). I found out later my food was hardly touched or thrown out because his grandmother warned everyone I'm a pagan witch!! Soon after things began to come out, he tricked me into taking him to his procedure to test me and if I'd love him and come thru. I began to see how he popped his pain meds like skittles, even asking for my own pain meds and edibles assigned for my chemotherapy. His brother and friends involved in his motorcycle club were a collection of addicts/drunks/racists. I caught him purchasing morphine that was stolen by his friend in said club from a facility he worked for!! He almost lost his job again , fired once for smoking a month ago , now put on probation at his new job for testing positive for morphine! He kept it q secret even picking his kids up in work scrubs. I felt lied to , this isn't the man I met!!! His moods fluctuated like crazy, he turned everything around on me when I said I don't need all this with my health! Simple requests became debates, or rail roading.. I felt controlled but to weak from treatment to argue! He is so confusing, compassionate when it's in his favor or I'm home he turned back on the loving persona again! His arrogant nature is a front as he needs constant validation! He took me all over and out to bars whrn I explained I cannot because of covid19 and my cancer. Even my witch sisters disapproved of him putting me at risk, soon my friends and family were the issue. He said each phone call or when I came back to him ( which his place he wanted me to call home btw). He said slyly that they were the problem not us, how is making me better and our love is giving me purpose and before him , he felt I didn't have a reason to.go on. I was hurt and offended by his words!He quickly became critical or me and my friends , because we grew up in the hood and are salt of the earth people. His on the other hand privileged, at least on surface! Soon I discovered he had no criedt, no drivers license and he pushed me to reinstate my own even when I've seizures thay regularly occur! My family was outraged! I soon became aware if his motives! He talked about marriage right off the bat , and wanted to move in recently. Despite how everyone feels about me and he would leave me alone for the weekend he has the kids and take them to his mother's! I flat out said NO!! I will not stand for this , especially as my health isn't improving! He said he cannot afford to move on his own. Yet he is still looking at 4 bedroom homes for rent. He had no problem asking me for money when he lost his job or too buy groceries, suddenly it's I love you and how good it is to have a partner who doesn't take from him. I felt used , while he painted himself the victim as his family kept attesting to.

The grandmother accused me of freeloading! He smoked around me and it was an argument, I said to please treat me with the same respect as his children, seeing how ill I am - also to purchase his own food as he did on weekends they are there! His affection and desire for me was selfish, he wanted sex when he wanted it , ignored me the entire night we stayed at a hot tub suite! I am so confused , sick , afraid , hurt and alone. Now that I'm pursuing a doctorate he refers to me as his Mrs. True love. This is so cruel, whay are your thoughts? He went from supportive going to appointments to whoever this person is.. I feel iced out when I state this disrespectful treatment by family and himself! He constantly picks at my character and interests, pursuits and hobbies. He is like a stranger... sorry if this is a jumble extremely weak today. love and light .