Please no hate. I’m very newly married and have been with my partner for almost 5 years but I’ve noticed a serious issue I seem to have. My sex drive seems contingent upon how well we are doing in our relationship. Like of course I don’t want to have Aww with him when I’m upset but also I don’t want to do ANYTHING sexual, sexy, romantic, when I am upset even alone all by myself just for me. Truthfully I’ve a sexual assault past and I’d like to think that this has nothing to do with it but I know for a number or reasons it’s connected to where I am now. My current partner is the only other person in my whole life who has ever said yes when I said no aside from the guy who rapped me back in college. We have moved passed it but also, I haven’t I guess. It still creeps in the back of my mind sometimes and it becomes more prominent when we argue or he does something that bothers me. Sometimes I feel broken. And my biggest fear is that I’ll always have some sort of sexual “issue” and I’ll never be able to enjoy the wonders of a healthy sexual relationship. I don’t need to hear negative comments about marriage, please. I just got married this month. Engaged for almost two years. Known him since high school.

Today he broke his special made wine glass cup from our wedding. He broke it because he didn’t like the wine, which was also a gift. Sometimes it’s like he leaves his body and another being steps inside. One I don’t know.