AITA?

Question

Ladies, I need to vent real quick. Please tell me if I'm the asshole in this situation...
We had Easter with my Dads side of the family a few weeks ago and my cousin tells me her bridal shower is the 19th of June. She says I know Jaxsons birthday is the 20th but I hope you can still make it...I said I'll see what I can do. 
So I started thinking about it more and I'm like no. I'm not moving my child's birthday around for them when first of all they did not come to my son's first birthday because my Dads family hates my Moms family. Secondly, if I moved his birthday party to another weekend I guarantee they would not come to it because again they hate my family and want nothing to do with them. Keep in mind they live 2 hours away, so I would also have to drive 2 hours to go to a shower where I know barely anyone except my cousins. I literally see them at holidays and that's it. 
So I texted my aunt and told her I'm very sorry but we will be having Jaxsons birthday the 19th as that is the weekend that works for us. I told her I'll still send a gift for my cousin and I'm sorry. She responds saying she's very disappointed and thought if they scheduled it far enough in advance I could make it work.
Okay...if you scheduled it so far in advance, WHY did you pick the weekend of my sons birthday and not another weekend?? Knowing full well I'm going to have a birthday party for him? I'd do it on the 20th which is his actual birthday, but it's Fathers day.
Am I the asshole??

Answer

I’m disappointed in them for admitting they knew it was jaxons bday and then planned a bridal shower. Also annoyed they said that. Lastly annoyed that they expect you to go when they didn’t show up for your family event. 
It’s the entitlement for me🙄

Answer

How annoying! I would do the exact same as you! It's arias actual birthday the 19th. We were going to do a day out on her birthday and party on the 20th but it's fathers day 🙄😂 so we swapped. 
I'm so annoyed for you 🙄😂 like, they arranged it far enough in advance so you could make it? They could have arranged it a year in advance... its still your sons birthday weekend?!

Answer

A bridal shower can be changed dates and birthday not. They can be disappointed if they came for his bd. But they didn't.  Too much toxic energy. Just ignore this and don't let them get to you.

Answer

Um no. I don’t understand why family has to be so dramatic. If they want the shower the same weekend as your sons birthday they should be understanding that you are not able to make it. My in-laws were so upset we didn’t go to my husbands grandmas 90th birthday party 2 years ago. We live 5 hours away and I have delivered all of my babies early. I was told by my doctor to not travel after 24 weeks (I was 29 weeks at the time) and I legit was on hospital bed rest for a week after the party for pre-term labor. They were upset my husband didn’t go by himself. Somehow we were still in the wrong as he told his mom he wasn’t leaving me alone. Can’t please everyone! You do you.

Answer

Not an asshole at all! Your child comes first they knew when his birthday is and still picked that date! They should have been more respectful in their date choices. You can’t change the day your child was born but they can choose the day they get married!

Answer

Nope nope nope. They know very well when Jaxson’s birthday is, it happens the same time every year lol, so they should have been the ones to plan with that in mind. If they didn’t care enough to have it in mind, then they shouldn’t be disappointed you’re not going to go. You shouldn’t be the one to reschedule with the possibility of them not even coming. I would have done the same thing you did. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer

Absolutely not! It's okay I'm an "asshole" for not going to my husbands cousins baby shower when they didn't invite any of his sisters and his mother but they invited me. It's also the same weekend and as our wedding anniversary and we are going away, which was supposed to be a surprise but no longer is because of it.
I asked his aunt if we could come drop off a gift ahead of time or after the shower whatever was more convenient for them and got some winded response that it's unfair for us not to attend all their family events since we are putting a rift in the family by doing so and to just send the gift from the store so its there before the baby comes..

Answer

You made the right decision. Sounds like it wouldn’t be something I’d like to attend even if i didn’t have a good excuse lol. 😬

Answer

I would definitely be the same way. It’s yours sons bday. It’s not like you are saying no for no reason.

Answer

Nah! You do what you gotta do! People are so entitled. If you think the 19 works better for you, then keep your date. You are already expecting for them not to come to Jaxons birthday anyways!

AITA?

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