Moms with anxiety

MAJOR TW:

have any of you mamas coslept, moved your baby into their own room & then ended up bringing them back into yours?

My almost 2 year old has been in her own room for the last 8 months, but up until then she was in our bed, or in the pack n play next to us. I have major anxiety, and even on medication the intrusive thoughts don’t stop. 90% of the time, I’m fine.

:( but I just saw two videos online of toddlers around my daughters age (healthy kids) be put down to bed & not waking up the next morning and my heart is shattered. I miss sleeping with her, or sleeping near her. My mama bear instincts are going crazy. Her room is also up the hall from us, closest to the front door, and even though we have cameras, most nights a thought will pop into my head about a break-in or something happening, and I don’t want to go too in detail, I just can’t shake the feeling of her being in her own room. For myself, it feels unnatural, I am longing to be near her again. Has anybody had these same thoughts?