Ways to tell family our wedding is off?

So my fiancé and are are suppose to be getting married this summer but I’m starting to feel different about it…. He says he has ED for 2 years now and will not go see a dr and every time I try to talk to him about it he shuts down. I think ED is real but at the same time I don’t think it interacts with trying to be romantic with partner and cuddling which he hardly does. We have been arguing about it for almost two years and I’m getting tired and feel alone. If I can be honest I haven’t had an orgasm in around 3 years because every time we would have sex it was rushed only one position and he would expect me to give oral but not him. I just don’t think I can give a life long commitment to someone I’ve tried to help but he literally ignores the problem and won’t call a dr. Also he has said some things about my vagina during sex “I can now fit four fingers in” like I’m just over it. Anyways the problem is all our family has rented a house around where we are at and I’m afraid of letting everyone down on the wedding! Like how do I do this? I just want to see if we can work on things before jumping into marriage zone…