I don’t want to be pregnant

I’m 5 months postpartum and I’m Pregnant again. I was on birth control and using condoms and honestly not sure when it happened! We’ve never had a leak nothing. I had a really hard baby and she still is. I know that I can survive with 2, but I don’t want to survive. I really wanted to just have my daughter for a few years, enjoy her. Really focus on her development and enrich her. I want to be able to play with her, not be so sick, and tired and uncomfortable. I don’t want to give my attention to another baby yet, she’s still a baby. I’m so stressed and upset. I don’t feel right getting an abortion. But I’m not gonna lie, I’m hoping that the baby I’m pregnant with miscarries. We tried to get pregnant with my daughter for years, I suffered losses and begged for her. I feel horrible now for hoping this one doesn’t work out. I know if we have another baby I will love it, I’ll one day day I wouldn’t change it for the world. But I’m so stressed and frustrated that even in my attempt to prevent I got pregnant. 😓