I feel so guilty.

I have 2 children, 3.5 years and the other will be 2 next month. With Lockdown we got used to staying in but everyday we went for a walk but they were both in the pram due to being just over 2 and 9 months old so my 2 yo couldn't walk too far. Now my 3 year old can walk really well and her sister now now wants to wall too. I am getting really anxious about taking them out on my own now when they are both running about doing there own thing and there's just me. They are really good they listen and I give boundaries and keep them focused tell them to run to a certain bush/tree etc and wait for me then give them another target. That's how we get around day to day shopping and things. I don't drive so we walk everywhere in all weather's. I'm just bored of where I live. I can change that so I need to make the best of it. I have 3 parks in walking distance from me. 1 is full of broken toys so not really anything to do apart from walk around the woodland bits and see the ducks and it's always full of teenagers drinking, playing kid music and smoking (and drugs) so not somewhere I'm keen on going regularly, this is the one that's closet to me. Park 2 is bigger better toys, more space to walk explore but the whole play area is on mud. The grass doesn't have a chance to grow so it's thick mud for about a week or 2 after it rains so we don't got very often unless its summer and there's been nice weather. Park 3 is made up of 1 double baby swing and 2 small slides. And is also occupied by teenagers doing alsorts. I'm really struggling to find things for us to do. I feel so guilty staying in the house all day doing next to nothing. We hardly ever have spare money so if I was to take them to the beach etc I would need bus/train fare, then probably a bit of money for something to do. We couldn't go all that way just sit on the beach all day. Also being around loads of people give me anxiety. Like not even just because of covid just in general. We do have a garden but it's tiny and there's not much we can do out there they have a trampoline, slide and a few other toys but they don't enjoy it out there much. Staying in is affecting their behaviour. They are irritable, start fighting over toys, not listening to me. Asking for food all the time. By time it's 9:30 my 3 year old is asking for lunch! I try to explain and distract with activities like painting/drawing or puzzles and building blocks but they are just bored and I feel so bad I get really down in the house all day and no energy or motivation. Im just getting through the days and that's not how I want to live. My partner works full time and overtime so he's barely at home in the day or weekends so I have to do it all on my own. I have a mum but she also works full-time and she's also just got a new partner so she's prioritising seeing him in her days off now so we barely see her anymore and I have a 16 year old sister who we see twice a week between her going to college and living her life. So it's hard being on my own. We don't see his side of the family because they all live on the other side of town and make no effort to meet up even when I try to plan days they always have excuses so the kids don't get to see their cousins. I think the more I stay in I build up social situations too much and I convince myself to stay in. When someone is with me I'll go out all the time. I just feel so shit all the time.