Just lost..
It's been 7 years...
I've spent 7 years of my life chasing after a man that I don't think exists ...
He has drank since I met him...
There were times that were less than others but alcohol has always been another partner in our relationship.
He has grown over the years.. He used to be physically and emotionally abusive when he would get drunk.
It's been about 4 years since he has laid a hand on me. But the emotional abuse continues .
We have two beautiful boys together, my youngest just turned 2 months old..
Tonight I told him not to come home because he was drunk..
I feel like it's just not worth fighting for anymore.. I love him. I do.
I love him more than I have ever loved another man. we have a home together, babies, but when I look at my future I just see this ... This ugly depressed life that is ran by alcohol. I'm terrified of what my children will have to endure because I love their dad.
I just feel like it's time to say good bye, I just don't know how.
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