Ok, so my brother is two and a half years older than me but our entire lives I was always the one doing everything first. I was just more independent naturally from a young age. Did my own laundry by the time I was 10 simply because I wanted to. He didn’t. He always relied on my mom and was nerdy and had a very small group of friends and didn’t really do much except play video games.

I was the first to move out. I moved out of my mom’s at 16 to move in with my dad so it was just the two of us. My dad is a party animals and more of a friend than a dad, so there were no rules, I pretty much just did whatever I wanted. Bought my own groceries, had my own job, etc. Then I actually moved out with roommates when I was 19.

My brother on the other hand only got his first job at probably the age of 19-20. Still lived with my mom until he was around 21-22. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, just providing some background.

I lost my virginity when I was 15, but started messing around when I was 13. I’ve known I wanted to be a mother since I was probably about 5 years old. But I am a child of divorce, they had a very rocky relationship. I witnessed a lot of fights and always told myself I wouldn’t have kids until I was with the person who I was going to spend the rest of my life with. So I was always very careful. I’m not 26, married and 11 weeks pregnant with my first.

My brother was a virgin until about 6 months ago. He lives in a one bedroom apartment in my mom’s basement. He’s 28. His girlfriend is 20. I have no issues with their age difference, in fact it’s the same age difference me and my husband have. However, the maturity level of his girlfriend vs my maturity level when I was her age are two completely different things. She’s only been at her first job ever for about 4 months. She lived with her parents until she moved in with my brother. She has zero life experience and is very naive and immature.

Well, since they started dating, my brother was talking about how they want kids and whatever happens happens. I lectured him big time on waiting and getting to know her, getting to know each other. My husband has a son with someone he was only dating for about 6 months when she got pregnant and it did not end well. Sometimes it works out, most of the time it doesn’t. You barely know each other. But he is also super naive and although he’s a very smart guy, he also has zero life experience.

He texted me last night to inform me she’s pregnant, due about a month after me. I cried. I just can’t be happy for him. I didn’t say anything mean to him, I still care about his feelings. But I definitely texted my mom and dad and vented out my feelings. How could he be so irresponsible when he was so smart and rational his whole life? He’s blinded by the pussy, tbh, it’s the first time in his life he’s getting laid and he has zero experience with children and they don’t even have a spare room.

I know I sound selfish, but it feels like he’s stealing my thunder. I waited 26 years to be pregnant and have my moment, I was so careful always even though I longed for a baby because I wanted to do it right and I finally get to and he just swoops in with this girl he just met 6 months ago and steals my spotlight. And he always said when we were younger that he never wanted kids. He called them “it”. Zero connection to any child. I’ve known my whole life I wanted to be a mother. It just feels so unfair, like they couldn’t have waited even 6 months for me to give birth?

My mom said to me it still is special, it’s still the first grandbaby, but I don’t feel like mine is special anymore. And I think in his mind, because he’s the older sibling, he feels he should have his shit together more than me, but we all do things at different paces. My husband and I have been together for 6 years and have raised a child together already. They barely know each other. Like just date for a bit, get your own place together away from my mom.

I was so upset I cried all night and barely slept. I’m trying to be ok with it because there’s not much we can do, but I’m just not. I told my mom I just need time, she said ok take a day, and I was like no I need a lot more time than a day.

I just had to vent that out. It just feels like he wants what I have. I dunno, my baby feels less special now. Like I have to share my spotlight, and I don’t want to. I’ve waited so long for my spotlight, I deserve it.