How to let go of toxic

So I don’t come from a healthy family. Don’t have a mom & my father passed away. My dream was to always create a healthy family & well... that’s isn’t it in my case😓

Anyways, me and my bd have called it quits. I know how toxic we are together and I know how toxic he is just himself & even though I don’t really want him because everything he’s done to me I don’t want to be alone. I literally don’t have anyone besides my baby, I don’t have family and barely friends. He was the only person I have... we did everything together and I’m having such a hard time with this.. I know we aren’t suppose to be together but I’ve been crying for the last 2 months every morning just because it’s different truly being alone now.. I don’t even have anyone to talk to so I just cry in the other room while my daughters playing... I’m damned if I do and fanned if I don’t bc he sucks but I feel just so sad and lonely being in the house all day or going out to do things... just sad