OCD// rituals// GOD. Bad thoughts..

So I have ocd & I’m constantly worrying.. it’s worse when something big is or has changed in my life which is has.. me and my ex broke up after 5 years & I’ve been having MASSIVE anxiety which leads to my compulsions.

Any advice on how I can control this? I tend to worry about things I have no control over & it leaves me drained, crying & irritated asf while trying to be a mom.. 😞 this break up has triggered it a lot. For ex I believe in the law of attractions & setting ur intentions on stuff.. so I’ll be putting soap in my hands to wash my hair and I’ll have an intrusive thought of something I don’t want to happen and will need to wash it off my hand and re apply soap until it’s a “clean” thought. It’s driving me crazy.. I’ve been to counselor after counselor I was diagnosed at 8 & nothings helped. I’ve been on multiple medications and became a zombie.. I pray to God and tell him that even if I have a bad thought while doing something to know I don’t want it to happen but I still do the compulsion..

It’s making it extremely difficult to stay present with my toddler and be patient with her when that’s what she deserves more then anything.. really need advice 😞😓