Came on here to vent on my relationship

Sooo my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years…we just had a baby in February and our relationship has been rocky…before the baby the biggest problem was spending quality time together..before covid he’d refuse to spend time with me..we’d FaceTime and stuff but he’d want to stay home and smoke etc..so I told him I couldn’t do it anymore and tried to break up with him..he then said let’s give it another chance he’ll change..well surprise, he didn’t..now after the baby, I’m realizing we’re barely even intimate..I’m the type of person I want you to hug me and show affection and he doesn’t..we literally have a shell of a relationship..I don’t see any chemistry and everything seems forced..im the one who’s always initiating shit..and I’ve told him time and time again about this..he says I always nag and that everything he does is bad..it’s not that, I want affection..is that soo much for someone who’s your girlfriend to ask…I’m thinking to myself is it just me? Do I want to much? I can’t really talk to anyone about this because when I tell family and friends and vent to them , I end up looking stupid for going back…I’m not sure what to do because if I break up he’ll get spiteful and petty and I don’t want to deal with that raising my child..what should I do?