Depression

I'm tired of being depressed. I wake up and sit in bed until i go to sleep, just to wake up and do it all again. Get yelled at if i sleep thru the day but what's the point of waking up? Can't go outside. Don't have any friends. Literally haven't spoken to anyone outside my household in years. I play my PS4 sometimes but i get so tired of it so fast. I tell myself I'd have more fun if i were better at the game, but i think I'm just tired of not enjoying it, and being better wouldn't make my depression go away.

I don't know what else to do. Sometimes i just need to move, to be distracted. So i clean off the tables or organize something I've organized five times this week already.

There's so many things happening, so much hurt. I'm so scared for the people i love.

I just want to lock myself away from this world, i hate it so much. I want to be alone. I want a home. Somewhere i don't have to worry about being abused or kicked out. I want to find a way out of this depression. I want to feel free.

I don't think I'll ever be free.