Is it normal that husband has never helped with baby at night?

Question

He works at home so there's no commute. I dont mean for him to take shifts, just maybe help once a week or so when I'm reaching my breaking point. (Baby has always woken a LOT). 
every time I ask at night he says "no, I'm too tired." 
I feel like it's not normal, but I'm not sure. Our baby is 14 months.

Answer

I plan to exclusively breastfeed but even my husband told me he would help with the midnight diaper changes so I could get as much rest as possible since I’d be the one up every couple of hours doing the feedings. 
I don’t think it’s normal for a parent (either dad or mom) to think “I’m tired” is an acceptable excuse to not help with the baby at night. You’re both tired, one person’s sleep isn’t more important than the other’s. And if you ASK for help because you need it, help should be given.

Answer

My husband helped. Him working 40 hours a week at his job is equivalent to you working 40 hours a week on the house and kids. Not he works 40 hours and therefore you work 7 days 24 hours....that isnt equal. He needs to be hands on with your home and children.

Answer

I'd leave for a few nights to get help. It takes a village to raise a child. I'd let him know I'm going to mums house because I'm exhausted and she will help.

Answer

That’s not supportive and I would be upset. But maybe it’s a misunderstanding? You’re obviously tired too?

Answer

Should your husband be willing to help occasionally at night? Yes. Should your 14 month old be waking up so frequently at night that you are needing a break? I feel like No. I have always coslept until 15 months ( bedshared 6-15 months) and after that baby doesn’t need comforted every single night, maybe a couple times a week. I would kick him out of your bed and bring baby in.

Answer

My husband doesn’t help cause he says he’s to tired as well. It’s not normal or ok. It pisses me off but it is the way it is. I wanted more babies so I just deal with it. He got kicked out of our room though. It’s a lot easier having him not in the room snoring his ass off lol

Answer

My situation is different bc I chose to ebf and offered to take all the night shifts, no matter what kind of shifts my hubby worked the next day. But I also had a super long mat leave (18 months) so I was essentially a stay at home mom during that time. If he works at home and his only excuse is he’s always tired then I would have a problem with that, like push through it! I’m sure you’re just as tired if not more for doing all the night shifts for over a year!

Answer

I was exclusively nursing, but my husband would still get up with me to bring me water/keep me company/commiserate, etc. He also did the middle of the night diaper changes. There were also nights where my son was just a very lazy nurser, so I would have to pump and my husband would give him the bottle of pumped milk or wash the parts afterwards. Taking care of a baby is hard and should definitely be a collaborative effort.

Answer

The only time my husband did not help with our son (we usually took turns getting up every other night) is over the last 5 months since he works swing shift. Other than that he had helped with our son every other night at least since he was born and my son is almost 2. It's so lazy that dads think they can just not do things because they're tired like we aren't also tired

Answer

I exclusively breastfeed, so feeding is my job. But my husband gets baby ready for bed, changes the early morning diaper and then gets him changed and ready for the day when we finally get up. It feels pretty equal. We also help each other by taking on more responsibility if one of us needs some extra self care from time to time

Is it normal that husband has never helped with baby at night?

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